Page Five

I believe that now is a really good time to be moderately broke, and to be someone who has been moderately broke for a good portion of his or her life. I'll tell you why after I run through some campaign slogans (real and imaginary) I wish I were old enough to be able to claim.

If I Were 21 I'd Vote For Kennedy (One of Bobby's)

Keep Hope Alive! (Obama listened!)

Don't Blame Me, I Voted For Carter (I made that one up)

People want to blame all of this economic mess on Clinton, but I say, lay the blame on the ones who fostered an economy that made the luxurious, easy living life not only attainable, but seemingly normal. Reagan will always pop into my head when you say "The President," just as Ike pops into my Dad's head when you say the same thing. I grew up thinking Ronnie was so cool, but I have to admit now that I think his era is the one that really set us on the path of being compelled to take loans we knew we could never repay simply to avoid being those people at the party who DON'T OWN. 

I'll say it here just this once: If ever you hassled me for being someone who DOESN'T OWN... FUCK YOU. Currently, I have nothing to lose. I like that. How's your portfolio now, douche? 

But enough about economics and politics. I don't really want to dive too much into that here. That shit's a drag. Right now I'd like to talk about rock 'n' roll bands on the sand at beach parties in movies from the early '60s. This is crazy stuff. In particular, I'd like to talk about the "band" The Four Preps, who entertained the groovy surfer kids down at the beach in Gidget (1959).  I shouldn't really put the word "band" in quotes when referring to these guys; they were an actual recording group that had some hits. But, seriously. Their electric guitars are not plugged in. I see a saxophone; I hear a saxophone; but the sax player's not playing anything like what you hear. They brought their gear to the beach. Tools. You know they weren't cool outside of the movie studio, playing the Whiskey and all. Whatever. And I wonder why the viewers allowed it. Was it so new they didn't care about mistakes? Did they honestly believe those instruments worked like that? Here's the part that screws with me—Fifty years from now, what totally obvious mistakes will they see in the stuff we're making now that we think is near perfect, like No Country for Old Men? That's kind of a scary thought. What if we're totally lame?

So, for something from that era that was totally not lame, 

Do Yourself a Favor And...

Get mellow and watch The Endless Summer. The first one. Just dig that soundtrack by The Sandals. Oh, and everything else.