Friday, June 25, 2010

USA ROCKS

I'm pretty sure my favorite thing about the Statue of Liberty is that she's well-rounded. As you probably know, she rides a Harley. This, on top of the fact that she is a beacon of hope, a vanguard of freedom, and a symbol for all that is America, makes her a pretty sweet chick. What you may not know about her is that she's also in a band.



The band is called "USA ROCKS," and they certainly do, considering they are the the largest supergroup on Earth, the band with the greatest economy, the most diverse resources, the broadest assortment of cultures, and the largest and most technologically advanced street team in all of history. Finding themselves closely rivaled during the bulk of the 20th Century by Russian prog-rock combo Gorby Parque, the Rocks solidified their rock supremecy when American DJ and rock icon "Rockin'" Ronnie Reagan demanded during MTV's pilot broadcast of the short-lived MTV Democracy, "Mick Gorby, turn down your amps!" The award-winning pinko lead singer obliged, setting the stage for the eventual dismemberment of Soviet prog-rock worldwide.

A Brief History

In the fall of 1959 four very individual, very talented philosophy students found themselves forging a new sound based on many of the folk songs of their particular places of origin. Songs like "When Johnny comes Marching Home Again (Tra-La-Tra-La-La-La-La, Live For Today)" and "Square Deal Gone Down" launched them to the top of the charts and the exit polls. Fueled by the differences that at times drove them to the brink of collapse, The Rushmores, as they called themselves, released the highly acclaimed Meet the Rushmores in 1960, pushing the boundaries of both the young genre of rock and roll and democracy itself.

Promotional Photo for Meet the Rushmores!

Originally fronted by vocalist T.J. Rider (Thomas Jefferson), the band also consisted of guitarist and songwriter Teddy Bluesevelt (Theodore Roosevelt), bassist Abraham "Hammer" Lincoln, and drummer St. Georgie Washingtone (birth name unknown).

"Do not rock softly and carry a bitchin' Jackson"
—Teddy Bluesevelt

 T.J Rider

By the release of their second album later in 1960, the members agreed that the addition of a vocalist who could focus only on singing would benefit the sound of the group, allowing Rider to expand his use of keyboards, theramin, and hurdy-gurdy during live performances. The band's relationship with late-50's/early-60's Irish-American crooner Johnny F. Kennedy ("Oh Danny Boy-Oh-Boy," "Good Golly Miss Molly Malone") garnered them much media attention during the Bay of Gigs fiasco in April 1961, at which many more Cuban fans than were expected arrived at the small "Bay of Gigs" club south of Havana, and hundreds of American fans were turned away at the door. The following year the band's reputation was restored at the Cuban Music Convention, at which their closest Russian rivals at the time, the Cruise Chevys, quietly packed up and went home, admitting that they "just couldn't follow that act." It was at this point the Rushmores changed their name to USA ROCKS. Their momentum, however, came to an abrupt halt when Kennedy, on a solo tour of the American South, was mysteriously killed in the Texas city of Dallas in November of 1963.

The Ever-Charming Johnny Kennedy


After a short hiatus, the band replaced Kennedy with former Flowing Robes singer Lady Liberty (Marie-Jeanne Roland), a French transplant to New York who had, at one time, carried the distinction of being the only female vocalist to have a top-ten single in the folk, blues, and jazz charts simultaneously with her enormously popular protest song "Huddled Masses." Her brief marriage to Stéphane Grappelli contributed greatly to her early love and use of Gypsy Jazz forms in her writing. Liberty was featured alone on the cover of the eponymous fourth USA ROCKS album (1970), an indication to many that she would soon be venturing forth as a solo artist, an indication that proved true but which never encroached on her dedication and commitment to the band.

The band continues to release new material and tour worldwide, encountering resistance to their sound only in places where the daily struggle to survive seems to take precedence over the support and enjoyment of trite pop frivolity. All of the band members have taken on solo projects with varying degrees of success, most notably Washingtone's darkwave group Valley Forge. Valley Forge garnered critical success with their 1982 concept album Crossing the River of Souls and its outstanding track "Beware, Delaware."

Washingtone pioneered the drumming technique 
now known as "Saber Stickin'"


3 comments:

Dave said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PatriotWriter said...

Whoah, Dave. This post is way over my head. I am seeing stars. 57 stars. Or is it 48? Not sure. Whatever the number of stars Obama said is the number I am seeing. I think it's 58 if we include Cuba, 59 if we also include Canada. Add Libya and we have an even 60. All of this thinking is making me want to smoke. Or maybe I just smell the smoke coming out of my ears. It's okay. It happens.

Dave said...

@Anonymous--any time I'm low on inspiration, I just cruise on over to the Wal Mart.